Livin for my hair....

As a woman of a certain age, forces of grey roots descend as relentlessly as the tide. Most fortunately, my good friends at Focus Salon do an extraordinary job of fighting my battles for me.

Sometimes you just want to change your look. So I did.

Most people liked it. But there are things you dread to hear..
"Oh.. you changed your hair." (Silence) (Crickets chirping..)
"Was your hair this color yesterday?"
"COOL hair Mrs. B..you look like my grandma now!"
"I have a great hot oil treatment I can recommend"
"Wow, that's different. Are you going to keep it that way?"

My personal favorite from a male patron at the Library:
"Whoa.. you colored your hair. Does your husband approve of it?"

Just look at Bon Jovi's locks... Gorgeous. Timeless. Any color, any style.

Do you think anyone asked HIM if his wife approved of his hair color?

Going back to brunette now..if the snow lets up enough for me to get to
the salon. About as much chance of that happening as stopping the aging
process. But as Jon says:
Hold on...We're half way there..whoahh ohhh...Livin' on a prayer

I bet Bon Jovi doesn't have to pray for the snow plow guy to get his hair
done.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Diva on a Rant.. by Angela Barbeisch.. February 2010

When did "sick" become a good thing..or Understanding the jargon of your kid's Generation Y- Part 1

Some vocabulary translations to assist you in understanding
those born between 1982-2000

"Sick": anything very cool, admirable or noteworthy of compliment
Example:
"That outfit is sick."
What we call it: A fake reason to take a day off from work and/or
a child costing us $500 for yet another emergency room visit.

"Creeping" and/or "creepin".. to visit/analyze/contemplate on someone else's business
Example: "My mom's been creepin' on my facebook page again and/or MMBCOMFBA"
(online DaVinci Code version)
What we call it: Good Parenting

"tight": anything that sounds perfect or smooth, or entertains melodically or visually.
Example: "That SAW video is tight."
What we call it: "tight"- Pantyhouse that cut off the flow of blood to our abdomens, and/or underwire bras that sliced the midsection like a Ginsui knife.
What our Grandmothers called it: Girdles
"Fronting" and/or "Frontin.." to incite an argument or altercation using one's body language in a menacing or annoying manner. Also, to pretend to be something you aren't to get your way.
Example: "She was all frontin' in my face and I was like, back right the hell off b*!@."
What we call it: One more word:
Example: "ONE MORE WORD...just ONE MORE WORD and I'll give you something to cry about.."
and/or
"Just wait til your father gets home."

Angela Barbeisch..Diva on a Rant Feb. 2010

Moleface..

As a woman of a certain age, I recently had a meet-n-greet with
a Doctor Y regarding the fabulous fifty prerequisite
colonoscopy...

I sat on the uncomfortable exam table while he began to explain the
procedure. So much fodder for another story, but this tail..uh tale
focuses on something extremely different. My mole. On my NECK.

"So, we prowceed to entah the colon area and....(He stops. Stares at me.
My neck, specifically.)

"How long you have dat mole", he inquires with great interest.

"M-mole?", I reply, subtly covering my neck.. "Um, this? I point.
"All my life".

"Hmm...that mole veddy big. Veddy big mole."

"Yes, it is.. I said. Always has been. Sorta my signature look, ya know..."

He continued to stare, and then with reluctance, referred back to the
colon chart.

"Once the camerah is praced in the colon, it begins to"... Turn. Stop. Stare.

"That mole too veddy big. Makes cancer. That mole go when we do
colonoscopy. Snip Snip, gone".

"No snip, snip.."I reply. "No gone. I like my mole."

"NO NO we snip snip and it go away...just like dat...."

And I'm gonna make like a tree and leave... just like that....

Fortunately my little sis is a doc. "Absolutely, under no condition,
do you allow that man to touch your mole. Go to a skin specialist..have
it checked out."

But Maria..why was he so fascinated by my mole?

"Well, what do you think he NORMALLY looks at everyday??

Ahhhhhh...and therein lies the rub.

So..lesson learned..that's why we have specialists. Don't do anything
without a second opinion. You may lose something, like a defenseless little
mole.

Learn your options.

Like Al Pacino said....

"Say goodnight to the bad guy"...

"Say hello to my little friend......"

Angela Barbeisch.. February 2010

ET phone home..uhh...where's the phone..CUT!

One of my favorite shows from the good ole days (GOD's as we call them),was Green Acres. For those who remember, the phone was located on a makeshift telephone pole about 100 yards from the house. To make a call, Ahlivah, Zsa Zsa, Mr.Mooney, or whatever drop-in bumbling neighbor would have to scale the pole, click the handle several times while hanging precariously for their lives...
Yet..they always knew where the dang thing was.
I had a patron at the library last night.. a woman of a certain age,talking about the GOD's, when you had that big ugly black rotary phone on a table...or the simple wall phone with the 400 foot cord that could scale the distance of the home. Sure you spent countless hours unwinding, untwirling and "fixin" the cord, but..damn it, ET could make that call in a NY minute..
This author wonders how many precious moments of time we waste looking for, arguing about, and pulling our hair out over a phone.
"I can't find MY phone!"
"Did you call the 2nd phone from the 1st phone?"
"Do you have the second phone?"
"It was next to where the first phone was.."
"Got it...Hold on.."(engaging tracking device...)
*Beep..*beep*...beeeeep***....*blip*
"I hear it....do you hear it?".......
"The couch....look in the cushions..."....mom...found your bra...no phone...
"Check the top of the microwave...no,no....look behind the cat litter box...wait..it fell in the laundry basket.... "Got it..no, no good, lost charge from being off the hook too long.."
"Going to cell...wait, can't find my cell.... someone call my cell from your cell..."
(cut to a faint ring tone of "It's Raining Men" somewhere in the distance)
"Got it..damn it, one bar left.."....
"Hello...hello sis? Hey..gotta make this quick..only have enough charge for two minutes...can you call me back on the house phone in about two hours?No, not now, it's totally dead...tell ya what, I'll call you back on my cell phone after I find the charger..wait, hold on...I'll email ya..Oh damn...isp is down...

How about I book a plane ticket and fly down there...it'll take less time..

If I had a nickel for every rollover minute I spent looking for the phone, I'd have enough to buy a big ugly black rotary phone.....a telephone pole...and call a realtor to get a penthouse view...

that is, if I can find the phone.....
Angela Barbeisch.. February 2010