The Dog ate my x*nax.. and other tales from Old Critter Watchers (both human and non..)

I should have seen the signs..

Restlessness. Agitation. Short attention span. Whining, listless glances out the window.

But enough about me.. lets focus on Samantha, aka Sammy..

To chew or eschew to chew, that is the question.. The object of her desire? Well, if its within reach, it must be a peach. Now mind you, I am careful not to share my bad habits around tiny human forms, yet Sammy's sleuthlike stalking defeated even the most vigilant of vigilantes.. a  Mom.. a Great Aunt.. an Owl watcher, a HMD (High Maintenance Diva) Foiled..

The package of cigarettes (I'm not saying they are mine) were strewn about the floor in various stages of decomposition.. none seemed to be ingested thankfully, although part of the waterproof box was depleted.

The medicine bottle lay on its side amidst the tobacccy ruins like a chewed dead soldier.  Fortunately the Child Proof Cap was also Sammy Proof: no tablets were ingested during the synopsis of this story. Which is very very fortunate for me, as although I wont disclose the contents of the bottle, lets just say it helps relieve babysitting anxiety and rhymes with Annex, or.. Dont Panicx.. or... happy happy happy me. Had Sammy infiltrated, she may have had some competition on the floor rallying up the last portions. Or sleeping with a happy smile on her face.

What came to us as a dog with just doggie issues now seems to need an intervention.

In the circle of chairs Sammy refused to sit. rather, she galloped round in circles. Coffee and biscotti were served, but she was more interested in eating the cat's Friskie Whitefish Deluxe wet food. I had to admit, being on a diet to lose 3 pounds, it didnt look too awful distasteful.

Everyone, welcome Sammy, our newest member. Sammy recently took up smoking and alm0st took up non anxiety pills.  "Hi Sammy"

Sammy, tell us how you feel..

Woof... lick.. lick lick..

Sammy, tell us how you really feel...

Woof... snort.. WOoooooof

Oddly enough, I felt the same way. There comes a point in a woman of a certain age's life where she thinks the kid, pet, snake, fish, lizard, turtle watching days are over.

Oh the irony, as the circle is not only round, it is teeming with futility trying to remember the rules of fair and assertive parenting, and / or dog training.

it all boils down to the basics: keep firm, don't bargain, pick your battles, and get a rug shampooer.

Oh wait, that's how to deal with a terrorist. Except for the shampooer.

I think the rest of the week will go fairly well now that Sammy has a support group to share her anxieties, and my purse is lodged on the highest shelf of the closet.

Im not sharing my Xa.. my um, "annex"  however... that corridor is all mine. It is a long winding journey that ends at the  door when you wave goodbye to all the grands and their respective pets, and turn to your wonderful partner, kiss.. and drop from exhaustion to the ground. We owlie folks call it faceplanting. We old people call it.. well, being old.

Next time Sammy visits, I will be more vigilant. I will be able to read the signs more carefully.

As soon as I replace the glasses she chewed.